It seemed only right that on the anniversary of my angel baby's day of birth and death, I would share on the topic of bereavement and grief.
That statement, "If you know you know" (IYKYK) could not be more accurate in the world of bereavement as a parent. I remember sixteen years ago thinking, "our life is everyone's worse nightmare". In our circle, no other family had experienced the death of their baby or child. It felt as if we had the plague and getting close to us was dangerous. You know, like it was something you could catch like the flu.
Looking back, I think what was scary was the thought that if that happened to us, it could happen to them. So their sense of vulnerability was off the charts.
When your child dies, you quickly realize how little control you have. Transformed, as she describes below, impacts every relationship, the way you see yourself, your purpose, the way you see other people. Nothing is untouched by this loss.
This quote seems to address so many unsaid thoughts and feelings for those of us who unwillingly joined the club of bereaved mothers.
Bereaved Mother
You are the very essence of brave
your love, is a story that will last the ages
Today, let the world see you as you truly are;
shattered, broken, rich and full
today, let the secret loose,
this suffering will break you, and become your magic
this loss will rip deep, and become the fire within your soul,
the music to your sway
and while it's endlessly unfair
that your child is no longer here,
and we remember and honor that loss
you lead forward, you are transformed
this loss
has shaped you,
into the most beautiful of beings
-Katie Jameson
Remembering with you,
Jenna Linerud, MSW, LCSW, LICSW